The color Yellow

The color yellow,once the painting on the walls in my bedroom at home,once my favorite color when I thought I was going to be forever young and all was going to be bright,blooming and shining. Not knowing that these walls will get dirty. Not knowing my favorite color would change and fade.

Purple streaks in my hair,the young in me fading away,a wildness coming to life,a rebellious soul being birthed. The young in me fading into the yellow sunset,giving way to the darkness. Another side of me is reborn. Oblivious to the change not paying attention,life tricking your thoughts making you think time is still and everything is constant so all your actions are reckless and stupid. The yellow in me gone. Nothing seems bright,shining and blooming anymore.

Time moving at the speed of light,days becoming memories,years becoming decades,lost in the spectrum of life. Before I know all I step on are grey areas,all I see is grey,no black or white. Decisions,mistakes,lying and cheating making or breaking me,I feel a storm brewing inside of me. I see grey clouds looming,it starts to rain inside of me drop by drop,then it pours there is thunder and lighting. Nothing to shield me,no shelter from the harshness of the storm,no dams to hold the water. It is very cold. The earth is not flooding but I feel like a tsunami is happening all around me.

All I see now is the color blue,I feel like I am drowning in this sea of blue. Filled with anger,bitterness and regret but before the flood of emotions consume me,I see a rainbow bright and shining a promise after a storm to never flood the whole earth,I wish I had the same promise too. I pursue my own rainbow,my goals. I push and force myself to run towards the goal and look ahead. The storm is clearing,the grey clouds making way for the Sun.

The rays hit my eyes,I open my eyes and I look around,I am back where it all began in my bedroom with the color yellow no longer visible on the walls. I pull up my sleeves and start cleaning seeking to see the color yellow back in my life blooming,shining and bright.

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The Queen who is Time

For how long are we supposed to dream? How long are we supposed to live,who is meant to be born,who is meant to die? Every time,things get thrown at you. Every time. When does it begin,when will it stop. How do you keep living this way without being tired? Where are you meant to get the strength from when you tired,the courage from when you are fearful? If you did not cry yesterday;today,you will cry tomorrow and before you know it tomorrow is yesterday and today becomes when I was a child,but there are those who will persevere and others who will perish.

I made a mistake,I wasted time,I threw away an opportunity,but if at the end of the day I did not want to make these mistakes,waste my time throw away this opportunity could I turn back the hands of time and go round again? But we all know the truth the future is what we have now,what we can do is to change what caused that thing to occur in the first place,caution myself and learn to know the difference between development and destruction.

On the other hand many things are and will be inevitable,a young girl s' father passes away when she is four years old but time had it that she will grow up without a father,she was not ready for the loss in her life but we have to prepare ourselves because every time things get thrown at you and some things you will have to live without. So I ask again how long are we supposed to dream,this girl dreams of a life,of how it would have been with her father in her life. For how long are we supposed to pray... Is it the longest prayer,the shortest,the faithful,the heartfelt. What is it that gets us out of our predicaments?

Tell yourself to smile,to love who you are,what you want,what you do,there is always a chance if not today,it will be tomorrow. That is the beauty of life. Time is our enemy and our friend. Manage it well,respect it,you do not control it. Do what you supposed to do,commit yourself,apply yourself and let time be your friend. It is called your time because you do not know how long it has been loaned to you. Waste your time and your life becomes a waste,a season of regrets and a life of wishes.

Time is like a proud queen without a king but looking for one. Show her you are willing and able to fight for her affection and attention,and she will stand by your side make you part of her kingdom and make you a king. Time does not want you for once to underestimate her. She is a ruthless queen. Treat her like a queen and you will be rewarded. Do not treat your time like a queen,you will be exiled;and have nothing to show for the time you lived. What we cherish in life is it what is spent or the time spent? Voice of R!

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Happy in Unhappy

A new season is around the corner, Spring 2013! The Sun is back in full force and the girls are already wearing their shades just cannot wait for the hot summer Sun. I for one I am happy the Sun is back and there is something symbolic and fascinating about a new month,a new season. I feel like a brand new me is ready to come out,but don't we love to tell ourselves that or am I the only one who makes a time table,divide my hours tell myself that and this,is what I will do,I am going to make it happen,before you even get going there is already a bump in the plans. BOOM. There is a challenge out of nowhere. There is nothing I love more than a plan coming together,maybe that is why I love it;its because it is such a rare occasion.It makes me feel like a happy person stuck in the unhappy. Now I understand the pursuit of happiness. There is the unhappy waiting to happen to upset everything. 

I was in the bus the other day minding my own business lost in my billion thoughts. Sometimes when I look around in a bus,metro,whatever public transport I feel we are all robots just going on with life not knowing what to expect but hope,pray,believe to have a great day and come back home happy. So there I was in the bus and my line of thought was disturbed I look to my side because the disturbance came from my bag. I see this hand in my bag going through my bag. I could not believe it. Before I could scream or shout the man removed his hand. In my bag there was my purse,my passport,bank card,student card all in one place. I was so shocked I just closed my zip and put my bag in front of me,I kept quiet and the thief who almost got away dropped of at the next bus stop. Now I am over the incident,this man was not only going to get away with my documents,but he was going to rob a piece of my happiness,I was this close to being bombed by the unhappy to being helpless for a second. He did not stop to consider that I was a student,a female,what I was going to go through to recover my documents or what I had gone through to get them,he was a man on a mission. 

How desperate the pursuit of survival and happiness has made humanity. I for one I am happy that he did not go through with his plans but it made me see that sometimes we all want to be happy,to achieve,to win,to conquer,to prosper,to survive,to make our families,friends and ourselves proud. I realized that some people are willing and able to make others suffer,destroy,cheat,steal,corrupt to achieve their own happiness. I realized too that you have to fight to be happy,happiness is not a door that you can just open and walk in. Protect your dream,your happiness, be alert,unhappy is mischievously waiting and ready to take it away. We  want to be happy but sometimes it does not feel or look that way because we are stuck in the unhappy with the unhappy too.

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Part One: I will never judge again in my life

I will not infer,think or hold as an opinion of a person s' lifestyle,choices,dress,culture,religion,political opinion. Not because I am not a judge lol but,I should do less judging and more loving and giving! There is a lot of judging going around and I want to get off this merry-go-round ride. You know it says "be the change you want to see". I have to stop myself from feeling that I have to judge everything that doesn't sit well with me,or that does not agree with me. With the amount of education,technology and knowledge is in this world that we have it is sad that we still live in a society whereby we still form judgement and opinions on how people ought to live their own lives? If you are not helping this person grow and being a positive influence in their lives how do you expect them to listen to you or respect you when you judge them? When you judge a person and when they look at your life is your life exemplary? When you judge someone you automatically right them off as a misfit. No one wants to feel like a misfit,no one wants to feel like they do not belong or shunned upon. So at the end of the day we all fall in a trap of trying to belong and we lose. You end up being not the person you want to be. It is important that we all be the person who we want to be and not what the world needs you to be. I feel very strongly now about passing judgement out whenever than I did before. People you cannot judge a book by its cover until you have been in a situation that they have been,until you experience what they have,until you see,feel,smell,hear what they did  and not until you walk in their shoes. Many of us today cannot be who we want to be because of judgement,fear of being decided upon critically. It makes me wonder how many dreams are being broken,talents that are not being showcased,voices that are not being heard,how many are are sacrificing more than they are willing to give just to be acceptedor appreciated? I am not saying I should not be responsible for my actions or do as I please ----> YOLO lol or  have pleasures without a conscience. I am saying I do not want to judge anyone ever again in my life,I am living my own life and it is right that I do my best and work to my full potential and be respectful and  considerate towards others who are trying to make the best out of their life. It is crushing and hurtful to be judged and at the end of the day we still say "we all make mistakes" so If we all make mistakes and have a few things that we regret then why judge when you can accommodate,help,give and tolerate? Tell me what you think people,what are your views and what do you call judging and in what circumstances would you judge a person? Its been real,this is the Voice of R----> Be your own JUDGE! Follow @Ms_Bimanator Tweet

Weekend Diaries: Gossip,laziness and Macking

The weekend is a goner and well I spent it sitting trying to get some work done but I felt like I was out all weekend! Man United won(red devils) yay!
Gossip,it  is like a train without a station and with it a lot of people who are stuck on it not knowing where and when to stop. People just love the drama we should all be on days of our lives. But look, it is what is, lets call gossip what it is idle talk,nothing more nothing less. I am not talking to a gossiper but to those who worry about the gossipers talking about them,it is stupid that you worry about what some other person thinks,says or their opinions if it is not who you are or what defines you, move on, its trifling you just trying to start drama. Let them talk they will get tired. Let attention pay you,you do not pay attention. Whatever happened to saying "whatever" and that is what I just did this weekend,you are wasting your energy, put it to something positive and useful.
Laziness,damn-it is the root of all evil! WTH,I had two full days and before I know they are gone. Time waits for no man! Does anyone have a formula on how to eliminate laziness? I need a laziness vaccine lol. I will get back to laziness later I am trying to apply effort+discipline+focus+hard work this week lets see if laziness will still come out a winner, come on I have assignments! Anyone feel the same?
Macking(for those who do not know Macking is:To make moves on, show your game, try to get with the person),been a weekend of one guy saying this,this one saying that,the other one telling it like....crazy. I cant, how is a girl supposed to function? I am just going to repeat Jersey shore again and go into hibernation call it a day on dating. Maybe I should read Great expectations again by Charles Dickens? Its either I have great expectations or I do not trust anyone to be with me. Do you believe in dating and how does dating work for you guys? Why do you get into a relationship? Share your voice! This is the Voice of R! It been real :) Follow @Ms_Bimanator Tweet

Voice of R is HERE!!!!

Get excited,I am assuming I am talking to a few but maybe many,for this is the Voice of R. You know how people say they want to be heard,voice their opinions,feelings,thoughts,views,yell yaba daba doo whatever -well I feel the same and I decided to give a shot at my own blog! Voice of R is all about me connecting with the outside world,getting my inner voice out there there speaking-the R standing for Ruvimbo(in my native language meaning Faith-so yeah maybe it is the Voice of Faith lol) but for the few or maybe  many I am talking to The Voice of R means Voice of Reason, a Voice of Respect,Voice of Rebel,Voice of Rational- Rabble,Radiance any word that begins with an R but speaks to you it can be Ridiculous,voice of ridicule but this is a blog that is a diary for people who want to live their life as they see fit and how they can always be the best they can! Join in on the voice of R and let your voice be recognised!



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